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Self Esteem and Confidence: Why Self Acceptance Accelerates

By:   |   Jul 08, 2018   |   Views: 32   |   Comments: 0
Core confidence, coming from an inner place of authenticity by default will
cultivate a healthy sense of self-esteem. Let's get clear here: self-esteem
as I define it is not narcissism and is essential to personal power and a
secure self-image.

If you buy into the idea that putting yourself down is "humble" or that
what others say about you defines who you are and determines your level of
confidence, you cannot live an empowered life.

Haven't you noticed how fickle people can be? They can love you one moment
and vilify you the next. This is because what they think about you really
isn't about YOU. It's about how they see life and how you fit into their
paradigm of "reality". Reality is relative and as Albert Einstein said:

"Reality is an illusion; albeit a very persistent one"

It's an illusion because your view of the world seems real and "right"
to you - because your nervous system serves to keep you feeling as safe and
as "right" as possible. To the degree that you are aware that who the
"real" you are, the essence, the "consciousness" that you are is not
the same as what you think, you can run your life by conscious choice.

The minute we think that we are our thoughts or that what other people think
about us is the "truth", we are setting ourselves up for a life filled
with fear, struggle and overwhelm. It is very difficult to feel confident and
like yourself if you base it on what the media says about what is
"beautiful" (seems to change with the weather) or if you are afraid to
make a mistake and beat yourself up constantly.

How will you learn anything new of substance if you are fearful of falling
down? Trial and error comes with the territory of growth. It's just a
matter of practice. Of course confidence grows with experience. Confidence
does not mean you won't have fear; it is just the ability to feel the fear
and go ahead and do what you want to do anyway.

When you understand what fear is in the first place, it becomes easier to
manage. When we reject ourselves and fill our minds with stories of shame and
guilt, we essentially paralyze our lives and constrict our possibilities for

Shame is just the illusion that there is something wrong with you at an
identity level and guilt is the story that what you did is judged as
unforgivable. Well, welcome to planet earth. Everyone makes and will continue
to make mistakes. We do have laws that penalize certain errors more heavily
than others, but forgiveness and releasing self-rejection is the doorway that
we have to pass through if we want to take back our power from the external

You, the essence of YOU, is not the same as what you did, do or will do.
Those are experiences. Accepting where you are does not mean condoning it and
staying there, it's just that what you resist, persists. What you focus on

If you look at yourself and others through the eyes of judgment, you block
compassion and you block the powerful emotion of love. You slow down the
ability to change. Love is a magnetic force, haven't you noticed? When you
don't love and accept yourself, you make it very difficult to attract
others who will love and support you also.

You will tend to attract relationships and situation to prove you "right"
- you are not lovable. I broke through this FEAR - Fictitious Evidence
Affecting Reality - and it has make all the difference between itty bitty
personal growth and quantum leaps to peace of mind, joy and increasing
expression of love manifesting all around me.

My self-esteem and confidence comes from the inside, from my core. So, more
and more what others think and say about me with destructive intention (and
you know what this is, it is not the same as feedback), bounces off like
"water off a duck's back". This is true empowerment.

When you can increase this perception about life, you are less vulnerable to
the fickle changes in other's projection about the way that they see life.
Your confidence and self-esteem can be healthy and intact for no reason;
it's just because you breathe.
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