A Psychic Discusses Anger and Angry People
As a psychic, I had to learn how to deal with angry people early. When you come to talk to me, it is usually when you are less than confident and not feeling your best. Sometimes people are downright angry. So, first let us define anger:
a strong feeling of displeasure and belligerence aroused by wrong; wrath; ire
-verb (used with object)
to arouse anger or wrath in
-verb (used without object)
to become angry: He angers with little provocation.
Now let us look at a practical example. I have a very regular client who spends about 90 percent of her day being just full on angry. I wish I had a dollar for every email I have gotten from her stating how angry she is about this or that. The majority of the time she is angry, she is angry because someone did not live up to her expectations or respond fast enough to her demands.
I really want to like this client. I really want to see some redeeming qualities in her. It is very hard for me to break past her constant anger. She is a classic example of the value of the lessons I learned in how to deal with angry people. On this particular day she came to me for a psychic tarot card reading and she was just spitting mad because her ex boyfriend is not moving fast enough for her. They are working on reconciling. She said to me that she expected to be married to him inside of one year at the latest. I asked her if he knew that. She said "OF COURSE HE DOES!!! I TOLD HIM WHEN WE FIRST STARTED DATING WHAT MY EXPECTATIONS WERE!!!" I asked her if she meant when they first started dating back in the beginning of time or when they started working on reconciliation this time, knowing full well that this was "pre-first date" conversation going back about three years. She saw where I was going and, instantly, I felt this RUSH of anger coming off of her. She proceeded to yell more at me about how he KNEW her expectations. I told her that it wasn't fair to him to make assumptions and in any kind of relationship it's better to over-communicate than under-communicate. I then said to her, "I'm on your side." She said, "NO!!! YOU'RE NOT!!!"
I sat in silence for about thirty seconds letting her words that she just yelled at me sink in. I am well known for my bluntness. I said to her, "I give you accurate readings. I tell you the truth on everything. I give you heads up on what's coming. I show you all the options, opportunities and paths before you that you can choose from. I do not lie or sugar coat ANYTHING in your life. Your anger repels everyone in your life, including him. If you could learn to control your anger, he will be more apt to be there more often. You are a good person. You are loving and kind. He knows that and I know that. YOU just don't know that. I AM on your side."
She then said, "So, if I can get rid of my anger, how often will we see each other THEN?" I said, "I can't answer that. That's a what-if question. You cannot just "get rid of your anger". You actually have to do some work there and it will start to diminish and slowly disappear." She said, "See, that's what I mean. You never answer my questions. You never give me ANY facts."
That is when I said, "well, I think we covered everything here. Have a great day!" and wrapped up the reading. I understand people come to me when they are not at their best. I get that. I understand anger, frustration, fear, etc. I get venting. A client can say whatever they want to me. They can speak freely. They cannot attack me personally or attack the help I am giving them. That is a line I draw to protect myself.
I looked back over my own life, and my own journey with anger. I realized that most people who are really angry do not realize how angry they really are. That is their norm. That is the fuel that feeds their fires so to speak. I realized I was an angry person many years ago when my two best friends were backing towards the door, feeling for the door knobs behind their backs while telling me how angry I was. THAT was eye-opening.
Do you get angry often? Do you get defensive easily? Do little things make you mad? Do you get aggressive? Please look at yourself. Get the necessary help if you need to. As you can see from my story above, anger can mess up SO many relationships around you and isolate you. I would be more than happy to show you how to deal with angry people in your life, especially if it's you! I thank that client for showing me all of this today. I am grateful for my healing.